Monday, March 29, 2010

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MANUAL OF MARKETING

The first and foremost rule is to always follow the rules. If there are already filling forms, it makes no sense to think, so that the most useful is to find and use platforms and templates, marketing plans and creative strategies formats (hopefully Word format so they can be clear and write.) In any case, since the formats are all different and in some cases come in English, or very fat books to read, much less to buy, should have a boss who tells one to do to just do it without worry about thinking.
The second step is simple, and that advertising should be simple, spontaneous and impulsive irrationally, even so marketing should seek immediate results at all costs. It is therefore based solely on the product, its strengths and beauties. In case of not having them, it is simple: INVENTEL features that do not have, say that "the best" or the infallible rule "is the cheapest and yielder. " Great ... that way people will buy it immediately but does not remember the brand and in the future when the price goes down competition you lose your customers.
The third standard errors publimercadológicos is also easy to apply. This is the so-called "principle of obedience." In this case, because with the current economic downturn and come should safeguard and protect jobs, because the magic word is the popular SI. Anything that the client asks, say yes, though it seems absurd and pretentious for what he required for this are the advertisers who do wonderful creative and invent nothing magical solutions. What the brief is not understood, that the product is horrible, that the client wants to be the market leader this evening? Perfect, no problem, photoshop can do everything, while the copy is short and the picture is cool the chances of success. As the song says "no ugly women, there is little alcohol." Do not forget to decorate the notice with a silicone blonde, good taste always matters.
Fourth principle of learning by the method of error: The research is for nerds, freaks, geeks and ugly people. And all we know, we are in the XXI century, the Internet is all it is "logical" to do and then explain. That money is lost in research is better spent on year-end party in the company, advertisers and of course marketing and advertising consultant with fireworks and champagne celebrate the unstoppable increase in sales and sudden death competition because of the great plan marketing "is the man cranio sales and marketing china."
The fifth infallible law of error is one and seems to be the only absolute truth in the world of business: The live lives of bobo. If the equation is: Consumer = Bobo: and Live = Marketing, says it all. Avívese and scoop out the silver pocket is dead customer can not wait to spend and do not know how. You just have to tell you that "investing." For that you made the profession so that he who knows not let yourself advice.
equivocate and be happy, the essence of marketing is innocent and pure error. Seems to know and you will.

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Colombian Street Dog

Colombians are like stray dogs on the planet. It's in our nature.

Is it worthwhile to repeat the historical versions of the basic textbooks that tell, rather than explain the etymology of the city? I think if applicable based on the scriptures to interpret, in fact, do the religions, so it is legitimate to look at the texts paradigms that make us animals.

There is a coincidence in these works: It is claimed that the English to reach the promised land, known as "Indian" mingled with what were devoid of loincloth India to evangelize this wild new world. The same was done to the black Ethiopian princesses coming less and with the aggravating circumstance that had raged in Europe, which greatly facilitated the submission to the English. The most abundant creatures produced by this pairing is not selective and bitter turn came to procreate with each other, giving birth to three classes of new mutants, so they now call these beings.

The mulatto, the son of the white and black, the mulatto kin of India and black, and the most common inhabitants of English America which was called mestizo, enrazado with Queen Elizabeth and the Aboriginal come from Asia and Alaska. Cute, this country is still something like the kindergarten of the tower of Babel.

History does not always show the version of the defeated, and also hides the addresses of the underprivileged. Many stories did not pass the oral because the authors did not dominate the script, and I mean a few Phoenician or Sumerian empire. Even to date, illiteracy in several regions of Latin America reaches 10%. Are also outside witnesses and protagonists of history that can never be put into words spoken or written, that is the case of dogs, faithful participants and mistreated by developing nation and cultural changes. Where is the man, go dogs and rats. Apparently, the rat has been mixed with the man and created some sub-species of hominid, but this is subject of another essay. The dog is the one who has lived and shifted as man, while if you want to know a company should start by their dogs. Just as a good indicator of economic management in a city is given by the number of taxis in circulation, a measure of organizational culture on a larger scale was verified through the canine population. An average man will seem too much like a mean dog, because they live together and are affected by their historical moment as well.

Thus, the street pragmatic indicated in our specific case, a sense of identity that is finally able to determine commonalities among Colombians: The stray dog. Reasons to support this provision is easily found in the country who are observant, and just as easy to feel a full identification with respect to man's best friend.

The people of this republic tropical, as explained under the historical tradition, come from a racial mixture did not occur in other places, so look for racial or morphological unit is more difficult to score a bicycle kick Oliver Khan. So it is with stray dogs, you watch them carefully find a fun combination unscheduled traits that makes them who they are. Irish Terrier muzzle, German Shepherd hair, short legs, ears chihuahua, one green eye and one brown. Is the same as the mixture: Albinos of Boyacá and Santander, light eyes and blond hair with brown streaks in malnourished children in the coffee-brown Antioquia with jaw jaw that sticks out like a Basque, Arab blood Cadences women on the coast Atlantic with a British breast own sad, dark-skinned peasants and clear gray eyes.

cantinflesca The same combination produces DNA mestizo men of small stature and are "a berriondos" for climbing hills bicycle, people with black lung and sturdy legs of the Indian mining. See the average mutt, animal, short height, little but with enough legs to chase several blocks to a labored gamin who has thrown a stone. Da

happened this comment to include the ability crafty and mischievous of the two animals in comparison. The stray dog \u200b\u200bis not left to die of starvation, looting trash cans and broken black plastic bags to remove a tamale husks or gnawed bones of a roasted chicken that ate a Colombian family hungry. The diet of both is very similar time, and consists of a large dose of carbohydrates, protein eke with which they have to struggle under economic instability that prevents the acquisition of a balanced diet. A unique insight reflects the difference between these two mammals, man and dog: In Colombia, dog eat dog. At least, referring to the animal, it is true, has never seen a "chandoso" kill a Great Dane to devorársele guts and leave after wiping the teeth with a toothpick. On the contrary, I think I saw every day as a Colombian man, provided another insight "kill and eat the dead," that is, of course, giving their respective socio-cultural equivalence, kill other humans to keep their possessions.

If a dog kills another in fair street fight, do it for territorial control, or otherwise self-defense, settling a status of recognition as a leader and player mastiff. A Colombian man can do the same Kill other Colombians sacándoles guts and made public show of it to make territorial domain, if necessary to illustrate this topic, read any book about violence in the country and in particular as regards the massacres in the countryside and the famous courts of the tie or the cut of the iguana or flannel.

Remember that the icon for this country is the "Sacred Heart", a neo-baroque image which depicts a man who has a human heart on the left hand. This is a symbolic country itself.

It is also a country of distance ...

Social, economic and geographic. It is a place where stretches of roads built by humans are measured by a peculiar system: Given the number of dead dogs on the asphalt road. Interestingly, it has never seen a dog run over lying on a dirt road or a secondary country road, while for distances shown on maps as the 468 kilometers between Bucaramanga and Bogota, the number of dogs gutted by private cars, buses and trucks is 29 on average. So if you are a visitor and interested in the absurd idea of \u200b\u200btraveling by road a road trip to this country, should not ask such Ma'am, a few kilometers away is the city of Armenia?, you should ask, "Lord, how is it to hit dogs to Armenia?. Answer will probably not know, but that Armenia is two hours away.

Both Colombian and dogs know the notion of distance in units of length and prefer to give it in units of time. The village is half an hour away, 15 minutes, "2 hours at a good pace", but he is 14 kilometers, 600 meters or 50 miles. So you can say in some rural areas the path that you seek is "3 cigars."

And in any street, sidewalk or block from Colombia, barking dog bites. Human Y-threatening, it hurts. Ignore your instincts and wary of stray dogs foaming at the snout, and drunk on beer foam Eagle also cast by the nose, the two are equally dangerous.

A Colombian feels "proud" of his country, but only when it is outside of him or when in the presence of foreigners. A stray dog \u200b\u200bdoes the same, when other dogs barking menacing strangers want to get on his land. But, look, when they are alone, do nothing but scream and howl, smelling everything and putting rabid mouth and looking toward the sky. And open the door of his house a dog and a Colombian to overcome them: They do it without hesitation and without looking back, they run into the street or Miami, where relevant, but end up coming back later to ask for food after have wallowed in the streets with other dogs. Returning to

average mutt, undefined breed opportunistic and aggressive. This animal likes to walk in groups behind a bitch. I recently saw Natalia Paris signing autographs at a mall and to make it out at last, was full of scratches and saliva product of knights and young people flocked to see her and harass her. Another coincidence then, can be as similar as natural behaviors of our two animals, dog and Colombia. Poor Natalie, not guilty of releasing many pheromones in front of a pack in heat. And on the subject of biological nature, many Colombians and the same stray dog \u200b\u200bdoes not know exactly who is his father. Not his own mother knows. Statistical figures shed light on these animal and human behavior: An estimated 20% of adolescent public school students are pregnant. And recently, I met a man who figures do social work and know that 79% of girls between 13 and 18 years of a certain locality are getting fatter while waiting for the stork, unaware that the storks not travel from Paris to the slums of Colombia. Not only fertile females of the canine race have reproductive problems then ... that is the deduction.

The concept of "public good" is a problem that can not solve dog and Colombians. If picturesque, all expel public monument stench of urine and the fault is not exclusive to dogs. In Bogota it is easier to live 100 years without being docked at a downtown street, to find a public endowment restrooms. Humans and dogs alike share these habits uro-water in urban landscapes.

As for politics, the colonial system still in effect this makes it easy a phenomenon of communion between humans and dogs. To better explain, I shall use the prosaic: All crazy, Nero, recycler or what you call these alienated, is followed closely by a considerable gang of stray dogs, dirty and all the features already mentioned. Swallow this analogy to the policy of the Colombian and will then see that there is no difference, they are followers of any charlatan who promises to change a piece of bread or a refuge, a place for their children or sponsorship of "godson" . Wherever you go crazy dirt, there is going Colombian stray dog \u200b\u200bfollowing him hopeful that he will throw a crust of bread and will defend the police. Note this: "When have you seen a street but not barking threatening to the police? Is another common principle: The ignorance and disobedience to the principle of authority. The only time that dog and citizen of Colombia share together a ceremony that represents the power (the Catholic Mass), there is a confrontation that ends with the exit of the temple by the animal., Usually kicks and insults without show mercy of which is predicated.

However, it seems that we must look at new social indicators when you want to understand the behavior of the Colombian people. This new indicator is given by the quality of life for stray dogs, which show faithfully and closeness to the class representative to the living human. A Colombian animal is more than you think so far, but in return can not be said that a dog tends to be more human than you think, because no human can be a biological entity such as the street but, animals live with animals than he.

My Husband Peed His Pants

tragic

There are serious indications of mathematical correlation in the following cases that seem incidental (but are quite real):

  • Christmas fires are related to people release balloons on the day of the candles. The critical factor (tipping point) it promotes the true story in which the balloon tends to fall in houses of poor people, mainly in timber and fuel tanks, or houses made of cardboard and asphalt. Poverty
  • called misfortune cyclones and hurricanes more frequent flood statistics and more people drown on the coasts poor: Haiti, Bangladesh, Cuba, New Orleans.
  • Father unemployed, Daughter Pregnant. The birth rate has shown a higher incidence in households where the head or head of household has recently lost employment.
  • The day on which expires or is canceled automobile insurance, the driver loses control and runs over two children going to school. It is no coincidence that the father of children is an insurance salesman. Nor is it coincidence that the driver of the wrecked car - in terms of the fatal accident insurance or simple "stump" is called well-think that with the help of my God nothing bad happens. Blind faith in religion is directly and proportionally with the lack of vaccines, buying insurance and fire caused by candle.
  • Fishing with dynamite is a positive correlation when measuring number histories that record phalanx amputations and upper limbs.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Swollen Ankles Antibiotics

Group gives press conference to announce that there are no AGREE WHY


not stopped ringing cell phones, never ceased to get frantic e-mails to editors of major news and would not let either of As Earth rotates, while rain was falling upside down. The news was extraordinary and unleashed a wave of demonstrations and pilgrimages to the strangest places on the planet.

A group of aliens from the star MX3% + interests, held a press conference aimed to declare openly that there are no and round all the paraphernalia that aliens issues makes no sense, nor handle, nor "handle to grip" .

visitors from outer space, dressed in casual clothes or casual "(pronounced" quéishual ") were answered promptly responses of 450 accredited journalists and 2,500 movileros at the scene, which The press conference lasted for 47 hours and 53 minutes. Intelligent and fuzzy (see photo) as any alien, admitted having had "some importance and influence among human groups," but " that no big deal, please! "

journalist of independent journalism more representative and reflective opened fire break open a highly intelligent and politically risky question:

- Do you like Pamela Anderson?

- ¡¡¡·$"%&&//&%"$"$@!!!- said one of the speakers, which is untranslatable but I imagine around a puteada of enormous size.

- Do you have plans to conquer our planet? - shyly asked a colleague.

- No, we're just looking for intelligent life.

(At that moment there was an interminable silence, dense, thick as a soup of plutonium, as an oil molasses)

- As I did not find - hinted at a Newspaper worker somewhat disappointed.

- Do not look, we're worse after traveling 12.349 million light years! - Snapped the alien without anesthesia.

- And what emergency had to come up here? - shot one that felt the impact.

- What do you urgently had to get his press credentials being movilero ?

- is that ... well ... I ... err ... I think that ...

- You are a perfect example of the Peter Principle , according to which every individual in a job reaches his level of incompetence and stays there. No doubt that is the case, "said one of the ET as it introduced what appeared to be a toothpick in what appeared to be one of his ears, a clear sign of boredom ... or fun. At this point we do not know.

The constant whispers, talks between the curious, the "ah" "oh" and "wow" is left to hear the crowd rowdy, disorderly and chaotic, almost like the transition from Buenos Aires. Meanwhile, questions continued.

- Have you met other civilizations in the Universe?

- Well, polychrome ...

No matter what the ET to answer, they heard frantic voices journalists talking to their editors: "He said ' polychrome' ... What the fuck is that? "Asked movileros almost all producers who were on the other side of the" Roach "(headset used by Noter to" connect "with the breast feeding called" Production ").

"do I know what the hell is that! Then we see now does not matter, now matter how many people see us !!!!, so I went with your laburo, did you hear? "The friendly tone of the producers was understandable ...

- Any important finding worth highlighting?

- Yes, the square root of 2 is 10 454 million digits, and ends at 5.

- And that SIDV pada ezo? - asked a cockroach movilero the fall.

Why are we here? - Said quietly one o'clock ET to others in a clear sign of confusion.

After 47 hours and 53 minutes of questions and answers, the aliens were completely discouraged, but not showed signs of fatigue but with wonder and amazement. Meanwhile, journalists, movileros, press agents, producers, secretaries and other officials on duty, were returning to their places of work with rigor questions: "How many points did we do?", "Are you going to invite them to dinner at Olives ? "" Well, well, I'm coming dear. I was late because I had a meeting, "and so on.

the other hand, the aliens did not fail to impress ... They had asked around, everything from their personal tastes to the formation of galaxies, etc, etc.

" But nobody asked us how we are here if we came to announce that does not exist ... "said one of the ET finally, deeply intrigued by the" human logic. " Nobody hit upon to respond. Because if anything, was a huge and very clear answer floating in the air.

From then on, the respective channels continued their usual programming.